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Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Time Warp

I must write about the time loop here at my auto repair shop. No matter how much time passes between visits from some of my customers, what I did to their car or truck took place in the Sci-Fi like golden era of a few months. For these customers all repairs were done in a ‘Time Warp’ of ninety days.
‘You just worked on my car.’ ‘Ever since you replaced my (fill in the blank) my truck has (fill in the blank).’ ‘I can’t understand this – it was fine before the last time you worked on it.’ Even those who admit later to the problem now plaguing them happening after visits to another shop start off on the time loop theory when they decide my help is needed. These folks conveniently never have a receipt. Thanks to intricate file keeping which I can access in minutes the ‘Time Warp’ has mostly been a source of amusement to share with my wife when I get home.
The inspiration for my subject today came from a woman customer of mine I will refer to as Justina Fewmonthsago. Justina walked in yesterday claiming she had brake noise and an oil leak.
“You just checked out my Dodge for brakes and oil leaks. You told me everything was fine.”
The air around us began to take on a grainy aspect as the Nilson Brothers Garage ‘Time Warp’ enveloped the inside of my shop. The street outside blurred slightly. I could almost see the rampant effects of the Warp halt all movement beyond the entrance. 3 D images of my shop in the past stamped themselves over present day, confusing the lines of sanity. I rubbed my face. The skin felt younger (yeah right). Quickly mumbling something about holding on, I raced into the office hoping to reverse the ‘Time Warp’ before it endangered all of civilization. Moments later with Justina’s records in hand the time loop vanished. Present day colors and sounds roared slowly back into our consciousness as if it were a steam engine locomotive starting out from the station.
“Ms. Fewmonthsago.” I hold up her record. “I checked your vehicle for brake condition and leaks in August of 2007.”
“Well… I hope you’re not going to charge me for checking it over again.”
“Uh… yeah I am. Would you like to make an appointment?”
Once again the infamous Nilson Brothers Garage ‘Time Warp’ had been defeated by valiant record keeping. God Bless America!  :)


Charles Gramlich said...

That's both funny and kind of sad. I'm glad you keep good records. My students do things like this to me too.

BernardL said...

I can imagine the student variation of this, Charles. :)

raine said...

One reason I keep all receipts & refer back to them before waltzing into a repair shop & making a ninny of myself, lol.
You should have the Twilight Zone music ready to cue on whenever this happens. :)

Bernita said...

Time is so elastic to some people.
Maybe to all of us in some form. Why, just yesterday my kids were in school....

BernardL said...

It's always a good idea to hang on to those receipts, Raine. I've never required them because I'm set up to grab the original invoice quickly. The Twilight Zone music or the theme from The Exorcist would probably cover most situations at my shop. :)

Time is elastic to all of us, Bernita - especially in regard to time passed between when your kids looked at you with reverence and then a sneer and then with dawning comprehension. :)

Vesper said...

I loved this story, Bernard! :-)
We must also think of the "missing time" from The X-Files... :-)

BernardL said...

That's a good point, Vesper. I remember the missing time in the X-Files. Lately, the shop has been dull and boring with very little to consult with 'Spooky' over. :)