Saturday, February 26, 2011
Kiss of the Spider
Police in Dortmund, Germany found the body of a thirty year old man in his apartment draped in spider webs while being eaten by spiders, lizards, termites, snakes, and an assorted number of other species of creepy-crawlers Yuck!. The spokesman for the police claimed it was like a scene from a horror movie with spiders and such crawling out of the guy’s crevices with the lizards having torn chunks of flesh off. His apartment was described as a jungle where he never allowed visitors. Yeah, I’m really sure he had people clamoring to get in there. The victim is survived by his pet black widow spider, Bettina – she was also suspected to be the one who administered the killing sting. I’ve heard of neighbors from hell before but this guy took the term to the undiscovered country of neighbors to avoid at all cost.
The God awful part of this real life horror tale begins shortly after the lovely Bettina administers her deadly kiss. Our Dortmund hero, Mark Voegel, lies down on his couch, weakening rapidly from his encounter with pet Bettina. Moments later Mark discovers he can no longer move his limbs. He then remembers he hasn’t fed his menagerie for a while. Fading in and out of consciousness as his body becomes cocooned while every manner of nightmarish thing crawls, slithers and feeds on him for what must have seemed an eternity, Mr. Voegel undoubtedly at some point questioned his choice in roommates. His roommates however were quite happy with him right to the end. Yeah, I know… eeeeeeeeuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhh…