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Monday, December 19, 2011

The Dark Lord Gets Clocked

Since getting my weight back down to 160 last year, I’ve been pursuing all my old hobbies like scuba diving, backpacking, and basketball. Most of the guys I play basketball with range from their late teens to early thirties. I still get up and down the outside court, play defense, and shoot pretty well. They call me OG, which stands of course for old guy or old geezer. This Sunday I went up for a rebound while one of my younger compatriots flew in from the side and clocked me with an elbow. I saw stars so I knew it was a bad one. I signaled for a sub while my young friend followed me around, ‘OG… OG… are you okay? I’m sorry, man’. I absolved him of all blame immediately. If you play ball and you don’t jump higher than a few inches, you will eventually meet with someone’s elbow, because they get up there. Now for the funny part. I went home to ice it up immediately, because I knew the kid hit me square on the brow and from experience it was probably a hairline fracture. To keep it from closing up, all you can do is ice it. It won’t keep the color away but at least I’d be able to see out of it.

I bring Saint Joyce her tea as the Dark Lord this morning at 5:30 as usual, complete with – “dum dum dum dum dum daaahhhh… It’s the Dark Lord… get up you little slacker!” 

Saint Joyce blinks up at me blearily and then shoots up into a sitting position. “Oh my God!”

I start laughing because although I hadn’t looked yet because I was busy feeding the stray cats and making her tea, I knew my elbowed eye socket was probably looking real pretty. See, it hadn’t colored up last night. That doesn’t usually happen right away, so this is Saint Joyce’s first look.

“Well, there goes the holiday photos,” she remarks, making a face.

“Nope. We’ll make some memorable ones. Like all my other horrendous looking cuts, slices, swelled up hands and busted knuckles, Colin will be following me around with the usual ‘did you cry, Pa… did you cry?’”

Saint Joyce laughs, having seen my Grandson Colin’s reaction to all my viewable injuries. "I guess you're right, Dark Lord."

I thought I’d go for a few chuckles with this morning’s picture. Good thing I had already done my author photo.  :)


Rick said...

Ouch! That must have seriously hurt. But at least it's better than being hit in the head by an asteroid. How go sales of the new eBook? Crossing my fingers that they're great.

BernardL said...

Hi, Rick. The e-book sales are picking up, but I have a new advertising ploy I'm hoping will work. I'm almost finished with a new YA novel I'm working on called DEMON. It would be nice to get a build up on name recognition. :)

About the elbow... it was a slight tingle compared to an Achilles Tendon stomp. :)

raine said...

At the risk of repeating...
That LOOKS painful!
Have seen black eyes before, but don't you need to see a doctor if the socket is fractured?
Hope it clears up soon!

BernardL said...

Unless there's a concussion, Raine, the medical community can't really do anything. It just gets colorful and then goes away at its own speed. I've had worse ones where I didn't ice it up in time and the swelling makes it hard to see for a while. I got it in time. Like Saint Joyce says - I'm a cement-head. :) I did have to explain to the customers today though that figured I got mugged.

Charles Gramlich said...

Dude, you could have so milked this one for stories. I was picturing some angry customer who is in bed with organized crime sending his enforcers after you. You take em out in the garage with weapons you find handy. Only one gets in a blow. (I like my version better, OG)

BernardL said...

LOL! I'm already using up ten minutes per customer with the truth, Charles. If I start telling your tale, they'll be afraid to venture into my East Oakland demilitarized zone. I'm thoroughly enjoying 'BEAT TO A PULP: A RIP THROUGH TIME', and I'm not speed reading through it either. :)