Search This Blog

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

The Captain

Writing in the back room I heard the motion detector, followed by the sounds of a voice, and stuff on my work bench being moved around. First thing I see is the ubiquitous homeless shopping cart train (two tied together and loaded) blocking the middle of my big doorway on the sidewalk. Near my work bench to the right, the Captain of the ‘Good Ship Lollipop’ outside rummaged around my bench. He wore a full length raggedy trench coat, gloves, and stocking hat. It’s cool up here in Northern California along the coast in June, but it ain’t that cool.

“What do you think you’re doing, Bud?” I ask, having already stuffed my 900,000 volt stun gun into my belt at the back (I could use blog material, but I need to be intact in order to type).

The Captain whipped around, tilted his head, and gave me a surly look like I was the one rooting around in someone else’s shop. I notice he’s sporting a black eye patch; but it’s tilted up, revealing a good eye. Well… arrrrrrrhhhhh, matey. He flips the patch into place when I start smiling. The Captain then rapid fires forty seconds of gibberish, including hand waving, and facial contortions. I see his hands empty of booty, and coat pockets flat, so I gesture at the door with a wave.

“I have no idea what you just said. Get out.”

“I’m lookin’ for scrap!” the Captain finds his communicator, but holds on to the attitude.

“I have a regular metal guy who picks up all my scrap, and he never walks into my place like he owns it,” I reply, still waving him to the door.

The Captain puts his head down, squares his shoulders, leans forward, and with his fists pumping downward with each step, walks toward the ‘Good Ship Lollipop’. He heaves ho, and overcomes his ship’s inertia, with hands at the rudder. The Captain casts his one-eyed salty look at me sideways before disappearing from view.

“$*%& you!” The Captain bids me adieu, and sails out of sight. :)


Jordan Summers said...

You have quite the pirates around your place.

Bernita said...

Glad he avasted without further ado -- though a stun gun sequence would have been interesting to read about.

BernardL said...

He's new in the area, Jordan. I'm going to try getting a shot of him with my digital camera if I can.

No, it's much more humorous without the stun gun, Bernita. :)

Virginia Lady said...

And I was thinking working in an auto shop was a boring, same 'ol same 'ol kind of job. You get the oddest visitors, Bernard.

BernardL said...

My shop is in a kind of odd area, VL. I've decided if I can do it inconspicuously, some digital pictures will be an interesting addition. It will be like photographing George the Alligator in his lair. :)

eve1521 said...

I remember these guys quite well from my childhood at the shop.
You should have started whistling the Pirates of the Caribbean toon. "Yoho Yoho a Pirates Life For Me" lol.

BernardL said...

'I remember these guys quite well from my childhood at the shop.'

When I had you and your brother at the shop, we really had some characters stopping by back then. There's less variety these days, but the stop-ins now are more unique. :)

raine said...

I think it's great that your job is so colorful--scallywags and all, lol.

BernardL said...

I admit they were more of a pain in the butt before I started started blogging, Raine. :)