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Saturday, February 16, 2008


I get numerous telemarketers calling the business every day. As most folks know, when you answer these calls, you get dead air for a time before some machine clicks into the telemarketer. Therefore, people get five seconds to at least clear their throat, and then I hang up. I had a beauty on Friday. While laying on my back putting in a starter for a 1984 Olds, the portable phone rings next to me. I answer with my usual refrain, which gives people plenty of time to talk. Dead air, so I hung up. Five minutes later, the phone rings, same thing. The third time when I answer, an out of breath woman comes on within my acceptable range.

“Hi… there’s something… wrong with your phone,” Telesue informs me.

“Oh, how so? I can hear you fine, can I help you?”

“Your phone keeps hanging up on me.”

“It’s not now, so how can I help you?”

“Is this Bernard?”

I start laughing, because as everyone knows this is how they start their spiel. Is this such and such? How are you today, Sir? I decide to play it a little further though, blog notes ringing in my head.

“Yes, you’ve reached Nilson Brothers Garage, how can I help you?”

“How are you today, Sir?”

Yep. “Fine, can I help you?”

She starts the sales pitch for some web site sales thing-a-ma-jig. I hang up. She calls back.

“See,” Telesue says, after I answer, “your phone did it again, Sir.”

“Nope, that was me. Here it is again.” I hung up.

I know this seems rude; but if I had conversations with every telemarketer so I wouldn’t hurt their feelings, I wouldn’t have time to work. These people are relentless, and the laws haven’t slowed them down at all. They block the caller ID filters, and spam you no matter what you do. The real beauties are the robot callers. Who in the world listens to a sales pitch from some machine; and yet it must be the new craze, because my answering machine is full of them when I come to work. :)


raine said...

They ARE relentless, and even though I know they're just doing a job, they really need to learn when it's time to back the hell off.
But being on the "no call" list has made me a much happier soul.

BernardL said...

The 'no call' list worked pretty well for our home phone although it's not infallible. They've found ways to work around it, and they just don't care. At work, I can't be on the list because it blocks my regular suppliers. I get hard to find parts on the Internet. Caller ID works pretty well, but they've routed stuff through locally to beat it. That leaves me with whining about it here, Raine. :)

Bernita said...

It's when they start to argue that I get nasty.

BernardL said...

They seem to only understand the hang-up, Bernita. :)

Virginia Lady said...

I've discovered that waiting to answer after the second ring and taking my time while lifting the receiver to my mouth and then saying hello after a few seconds pause makes them think that they have reached an answering machine. They don't call back right away then.

BernardL said...

I'll keep that in mind, VL. They're a tricky bunch.