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Tuesday, February 12, 2008

In Honor Of Valentine's Day

A funny walk on the male side of Valentine's Day. I wrote this for my wife, who hates Valentine's Day. Warning! This is not a Hallmark Card poem. :)

A day set aside for all lovers to rock,

Valentine*s Day, what a vile crock.

This sugar sweet con makes me hurl,

Perhaps as a Valentine*s Day mural.

Feminist Icons preach against man,

But on V-Day he must give all he can,

While listening to the hypocrites whine,

Man must lavish gifts, wine and dine.

Oh, the mockery of these evil creatures,

As they mask their disdainful features,

Secretly laughing at the pitiful hope,

Pasted on the face of their male dope.

Soon, instead of tight dresses and hose,

She wears sweatpants and headache woes.

Gone in a flash are makeup and lipstick,

Replaced by wool and curlers real quick.

The poor sap, having delivered the goods,

Finds he might as well sleep in the woods.

His V-Day siren vanished before his eyes,

Leaving a vapor trail of excuses and lies.

She sprang to her bed, without even a whistle,

Dashing his dreams like the down of a thistle,

He heard her exclaim as she dove out of sight,

Happy V-Day to me, now turn out the light.

8 comments:

Stephen Parrish said...

Hi. I gave you an award on my blog.

No, really!

BernardL said...

Thanks, Stephen, I appreciate your comments very much. I hope you got a laugh out of my V-Day poem. :)

Tempest Knight said...

OMG! This is so precious! *rofl*

Virginia Lady said...

I love it!

raine said...

LMAO!

If it's any consolation, some of us ladies think it's a crock too, Bernard, lol.

BernardL said...

Thanks, TK. :)

I read your blog on not liking V-Day, and decided to put up the funny poem I'd written for my wife, VL. Like you she doesn't like it either. Glad you stopped in to read it. :)

My wife's one of them, Raine, lucky for me. She was howling when I read this one to her. :)

Bernita said...

Funny stuff!
I ignore Valentine's Day.

BernardL said...

I shocked my wife with a real poem this V-Day, Bernita, and she loved it. Hummmm... maybe she's been pretending indifference all these years, among other things. :)