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Tuesday, January 10, 2012

MRI Methods In Madness

Having been a mechanic for nearly four decades in the demilitarized zone of East Oakland, the arrogant presumption that I’ve seen and heard it all sometimes creeps up on me. Then, lo and behold I read an article like this titled ‘Orgasm Research: Climax in an MRI Machine? Been There, Done That’. Doh! I bet you didn’t know Rutgers University actually hosted dynamically important studies like this. I know I didn't. The author and participant in this lame-brained, cockamamie… I mean earth shattering research is Kayt Sukel, a self professed science journalist, writer, and blogger – two out of three ain’t bad, I guess.

All the while I’m reading Ms. Sukel’s article, I’m thinking wow, this is really the cutting edge of hands on science journalism, complete with directions for journeying into the unknown world of MRI tube masturbation – wear a loose fitting dress with no panties. Her family must be very proud. The Lord knows I don’t want to know who actually pays for this kind of crap at a major university, but I have my suspicions. I take nothing away from Ms. Sukel. To actually cloak this incredible farce in language meant to make it seem like Neil Armstrong’s first step on the moon takes real talent and the chutzpah of a true ‘Sex In The City’ High Priestess of nonsense.

There were other science pioneers in the comments section requesting to assist in Ms. Sukel’s future endeavors, and of course the obvious hope Rutgers is still asking for volunteers. They were running neck and neck with the hecklers who wanted full disclosure on exactly whose pocket got picked to subsidize Ms. Sukel’s ‘on the cusp of science’ experiment. Fear not for Ms. Sukel’s safety by the way. The researcher assisting Ms. Sukel, Nan Wise (you can’t make this stuff up) blazed a path into the MRI lab with the proper CVS lubricant. And here I thought a train ride to Reno was exciting.  :)


Charles Gramlich said...

I don't know, but a lot of this kind of research is funded by the researchers themselves. I'm on the committee that approves all human participant research at Xavier. 90 percent of the stuff we get is financed by the researcher and not by government monies.

BernardL said...

LMAO! I believe you've missed the point, Charles. Just out of curiosity, my friend, since you are on a committee that approves this kind of human participant research (boy, there's a stretch) would you have approved this MRI orgasmic party?

raine said...

In a way, I can see it. Human sexuality is certainly a fascinating subject. And if this research was being aimed at something...well, helpful, such as helping people who may be dysfuctional, yes, I could see an upside.
But wow, lol.
Either way--I'll bet they had no problem getting volunteers. O_o

BernardL said...

Heh, heh... Raine, yes I imagine in this goofy day and age there would be a line around the block of willing volunteers. An upside for the dysfunctional, huh? Let me see if I can get this straight - a goofball... I mean science pioneer, suits up for blastoff in loose dress/no panties, escorted to her liftoff vessel by a whacko... I mean scientist, carrying the rest of her equipment - a tube of CVS lube, taking wages from a University subsidized by our tax dollars. I guess I'm just too damn old to appreciate this complex study. When I grew up even the dysfunctional were capable of achieving lift off without a manual. :)

raine said...

I guess I'm just too damn old to appreciate this complex study

You are not, lol!
I just meant that, if there's something about the MRI results that can lead to some insight about people who have trouble achieving orgasm, it would be worth it.

But at least it's more interesting than the usual studies about why frogs mate in one pond rather than the other. (snort!). ;)

BernardL said...

"But at least it's more interesting than the usual studies about why frogs mate in one pond rather than the other. (snort!). ;) "

Agreed, Raine. I've been getting a laugh out of this for a couple days, because I keep going back to read the new posts in the comments section of the article. They're hilarious. I disagree with you about my age. I may not be too old for laughing at this faux science barnacle, but I'm certainly WAY too old for understanding why this would ever be accepted research at a tax payer funded university. :)