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Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Turn In Your Codger Here

This is making the rounds in cyberspace. Author unknown. It's what I would expect from government run health care. :)

Addition to Health Care Plan

Legislators, realizing the success of the President's "Cash For Clunkers" rebate program, have revamped a major portion of their National Health Care Plan.

President Obama, Speaker Pelosi, and Sen. Reid are expected to make this major announcement at a joint news conference later this week. I have obtained an advanced copy of the proposal which is named...

"CASH FOR CODGERS" and it works like this...Couples wishing to access health care funds in order to pay for the delivery of a child will be required to turn in one old person. The amount the government grants them will be fixed according to a sliding scale. Older and more prescription dependent codgers will garner the highest amounts.

Special "Bonuses" will be paid for those submitting codgers in targeted groups, such as smokers, alcohol drinkers, persons 10 or more pounds over their government prescribed weight, and any member of the Republican Party.

Smaller bonuses will be given for codgers who consume beef, soda, fried foods, potato chips, lattes, whole milk, dairy products, bacon, Brussel sprouts, or Girl Scout Cookies.

All codgers will be rendered totally useless via toxic injection. This will insure that they are not secretly resold or their body parts harvested to keep other codgers in repair.


8 comments:

Middle Ditch said...

Very funny, but not far from the truth I expect. We are more and more expected to spy on our neighbours here and dob em in. No way hosey. (don't know how to spell that word)

BernardL said...

It's really crazy, MD. We here in the US will not be happy until we destroy the best medical system on the planet. Many of our citizens are waking up to the fact only two classes of people do well under socialist health care systems: people in excellent health or people with a lot of money who can go somewhere else. Thanks for the perspective from inside. Next, we'll be going for a 'Logan's Run' concept where anyone over 30 gets recycled. :)

Charles Gramlich said...

Being on the verge of codger hood, I better take this one seriously.

BernardL said...

Right you are, Charles. Codger's in need of health care under socialized medicine don't do well in the lines for care. :)

Beth Partin said...

Sounds like my dad would fetch a high price. :-) I'm almost 50 and eat bacon and beef. I wonder when I'll be eligible for lower-level codgerhood?

BernardL said...

Good question, Beth. My daughter thinks it will be a waste of time to turn me in because she says they're not taking curmudgeons. :)

Leigh Russell said...

Like everything else, it all comes down to funding, sadly.

http://www.amazon.com/Cut-Short-DI-Geraldine-Steel/dp/1842432710

BernardL said...

Since our government can't even run our postal service for profit, you can imagine the common citizen's fear of giving them control over our health care system, Leigh. :)