Hard Case, The Lure of Hell, Summer Rain, and Customer Relations

I came into the shop this morning with a great attitude. HARD CASE II: THE LURE OF HELL reached #2 on the Amazon Men’s Adventure list again, with HARD CASE hanging around at #6. My partner, publisher, agent, and friend Author RJ Parker has done a remarkable job in a relatively short period of time and he has a promotion going on. Although battling sock puppet book killers and the Amazon badlands of ferocious competition, we’re clawing our way up in recognition.

My new novel starring aging P.I. Rick Cantelli is approaching 60,000 words and the third book in the HARD CASE series is nearing 15,000 words, so writing is still going well. My characters from the YA trilogy, DEMON are rattling around in my head for another humorous adventure too. So much for my fictional world, because I got a funny introduction to a new customer first thing this morning. She had an appointment for a brake check. When I opened the shop at just after 7:30, a 2002 Buick Regal crept in making the worst metal to metal screeching racket I’ve heard in quite a while. The owner, who will be known as Ms. Grindy Regal, was a harried looking woman with auburn hair, around five and a half feet tall. We had an unusual California summer rain this morning, so she had on a full length tan fashionable raincoat and medium heels. Ms. Regal exited the car, closed the door, and gestured at her chariot, with one of those pasted on smiles people think make them look friendly. In reality, they look kind of creepy to me, but hey, sometimes it’s just nerves.

“I have an eight o’clock appointment. Well, what do you think?”

Yes, the devil tried to pounce into control of my sarcastic nature, and make me fire off a few acid tongued one-liners I’m sure would not have been beneficial for anyone. I instead tried to draw the opening conversation to polite business interaction.

“Let me fill out an invoice for you, and I’ll get your contact information. I should be able to phone you with a complete estimate within the hour, Ms. Regal.”

As I started toward the office, Grindy brought me up short.

“I don’t have time for a complete anything. I’d like you to put pads on the front, and I’ll have a seat in your office. I brought a book to read.”

Oh boy. First off, on the phone I was very thorough in explaining how I estimate brake work, particularly the fact she would have to leave the vehicle. These situations rarely end well, when a customer comes in, having entered their own parallel dimension of reality instead of mine. “I can’t do that, Ms. Regal. By the sound your Buick is making, you have extensive damage to the brake system. When it comes to brakes, I only do complete repairs, because of the danger in doing patch work to the customer, and others on the road.”

Polite, formal, and disparaged in an instant.

“Just the pads for today please.” Return of the pasted on smile.

Uh… no. “As I explained, I don’t do that. If you’d like, I can inspect the brakes while you wait in the office, but I have no intention of throwing pads on your vehicle, and taking responsibility for you endangering yourself and others.”

Ms. Regal’s smile fled without even a vapor trail. Her eyes narrowed and the lips tightened. To her credit she thought it through before speaking. “To be clear I will not authorize you to do anything so you may as well not bother wasting your time with an invoice.”

“It’s not a waste of time, Ma’am. It’s state law. When I do anything to your car in my shop I have to by law have an invoice on it for your protection and mine. Come in the office.”

Grindy followed me in reluctantly. I filled out a complete invoice with mileage, license, and VIN number. I then had her sign it although I was not charging her for the brake estimate. Yes, it’s not a profitable business practice, but to avoid misunderstandings, I don’t charge for brake inspections unless it involves the ABS system. I clenched my teeth pulling the Buick ahead into a stall for the check. The brake pedal was spongy, and I had a good idea why. The master cylinder was low on fluid and had an inch of goop at the bottom from overheated fluid. After making sure the drum brakes in the rear were good and the wheel cylinders weren’t leaking, I proceeded to the noisy front. The rotors were ground down to the point they were wafer thin in spots. The hydraulic calipers were toast. The heat from metal to metal braking had turned the outer seals and boots into crispy critters. I have no clue how people can drive a vehicle in that condition. I immediately took pictures with my HD camera and adjourned into the back where I did a complete estimate, transferred the pictures, and printed out a two page collage for Grindy.

Back in the office in record time, 35 minutes – not bad for an old man, when the inspection required mechanics, photography, and computer skill. Ms. Regal was unhappy to say the least. Unhappy with my diligence, my explanation of repairs, the price of repairs (although very reasonable), and especially my pictures. She grabbed the pictures.

“I’ll take these.”

“By all means. I have file copies.” I watched the realization hit that I controlled the vertical. I controlled the horizontal… whoops… sorry… my TV time exposure to the ‘Outer Limits’ when I was a kid crept through. “I attach a sheet to the invoice for my records, so in case anything happens I’m protected.”

“What the hell do you need to be protected from?” Ms Regal was getting a little testy.

“Calm down, Ma’am. Your brakes are in a very dangerous condition. I urge you if you don’t want them repaired here, to have your vehicle either towed home or to another shop. I’m afraid you’re going to kill yourself or some other innocent people on the road.”

It could have been the mention of killing herself… or the innocent people. I won’t make a value call here. Grindy shifted into neutral. She sighed. “Can I leave it here for now until I make a decision?”

“You sure can, and you’re making a wise decision. I don’t charge storage fees for the first week if you stay in contact with me. You have a detailed estimate there. Take it and shop it around. For your own safety I advise you not to have a Backyard Bob do it.”

She brightened up at that a bit, so maybe it was a money issue, although I doubt she could beat my price for Delco replacement parts, labor and tax anywhere. Grindy called her sister for a ride, and I have adjourned here to the back of my bat cave to type up this latest excursion into customer car repair land.  :)

Top Ten for Amazon's Men's Adventure

I couldn't pass up the chance to show this screen shot. My two John Harding novels, HARD CASE and THE LURE OF HELL made it at least briefly to #3 and #4 in Amazon's Men's Adventure. That's uncharted territory. I'm enjoying the wave ride even if the rocks are dead ahead.  :)

 They just hit #2 and #3 with THE LURE OF HELL the number 1 New Hot Release.

Early Release for THE LURE OF HELL

Since we finished all the prep ahead of schedule, and both RJ and I were happy with the covers on HARD CASE I and HARD CASE II: THE LURE OF HELL, we did an early release of THE LURE OF HELL. Here’s the blurb for it:

In the second book in the Hard Case series, ex-Marine, cage-fighter and CIA operative, John Harding launches Harding’s West Coast Murderer’s Row into Mexico after the Zeta cartel, a Las Vegas sanction fight, and on the trail of three psychopathic serial killers.

To achieve these objectives, Harding’s CIA boss, Denny Strobert, introduces two new cold blooded killers to John Harding’s Oakland crew, Clint Dostiene and Lynn Montoya. Strobert has big plans for Lynn Montoya once she’s freelancing with Harding’s crew in the future too - he needs a woman on the West Coast Murderer’s Row not afraid to get her hands or her knife dirty.

Here are the book jackets for the two books in the series. Our release date has been a hit in sales so far today. We've already hit in the top 100 on Amazon for Men's Adventure, which is our targeted category, although most of the great reviews and e-mails about HARD CASE come from women who enjoyed the book. I believe they will really like my new member of the Harding crew: Lynn Montoya.  :)

THE LURE OF HELL

I made up a new cover for my sequel to HARD CASE. It will be released on July 4th. It's in the test phase right now. I needed something to do my ad in July's BTS e-mag with. Any thoughts on how it looks would be much appreciated.  :)

Here's the new HARD CASE cover too:

The Gatekeeper

I’ve been working at Nilson Brothers Garage in East Oakland since 1976, and have owned it since April Fool’s Day 1983. So many gritty and humorous events have happened inside and outside the shop, I’ve mentioned in other posts I often feel like the gatekeeper in the Twilight Zone. Another instance of that happened when a customer dropped off his Cad for a diagnostic check, and to get one of the Oxygen Sensors out. He had a couple shops try, but they were afraid to strip the threads and ruin the exhaust manifold thereby causing a thousand dollars in damage over a hundred dollar part. I didn’t blame them.

Recognizing the customer’s name during the phone call before he brought in the Cad, I looked through my extensive records quickly. Lo and behold the gatekeeper was indeed right about knowing this gentleman. He had last brought a vehicle into my shop back in March of 1992. Yep, cue up the ‘Zone’ music. Over twenty-one years had passed in the blink of an eye since the gatekeeper had worked on this customer’s vehicles.

I met him yesterday morning with my clipboard, and asked him if he still lived on such and such street. He laughed and said no, he’d moved out of the area a long time ago, but now was back living in Hayward. We shared a few memories about his past vehicles left in my care decades ago. People are always surprised when they find me still at the shop, but I have a duty as the gatekeeper at the Twilight Zone of Nilson Brothers Garage to be on duty.  :)

The gatekeeper then worked his magic yesterday, extracting the feared Oxygen Sensor without causing a thousand dollars damage, and all was again right with the cosmos.

In writing news I hit #56 on the Most Popular Author’s in Action and Adventure Fiction page this morning. My ten minutes of fame has finally hit, so the gatekeeper is basking in this news while it lasts.  :)

Here's the link, but I don't know how many seconds my name and picture will be in that hallowed position. Fame is fleeting.  :)   Amazon Most Popular Authors in Action and Adventure

2007 Buick Lacrosse - No Low-Beam Lights

Here’s a funny and informative anecdote from my shop. On Wednesday, I was in the back working on a cover for THE LURE OF HELL, when a 2007 Buick Lacrosse drove up inside my shop. Yes, I’m 63, and I no longer book myself up to my eyeballs in jobs every day. I may be a bit guilty of retiring on the job. Anyway, I go out to greet the customer who is exiting the driver’s side. The young lady is one of those folks we OG’s (old geezers) have to rein in our first reaction with. She wore a black thigh high skirt with black nylons, and black medium heel shoes. Her burgundy top was spaghetti strapped with generous exposure. She will be known as Ms. Tat Lacrosse for this post. Tat had tats up both arms, a nose ring, one earring, diamond stud through her left eyebrow, and black hair tied back in a ponytail. Nails, lips, and eyes, were highlighted in black. My guess would be Ms. Lacrosse was in her early twenties, and around five feet, six or seven inches tall.

Look, I admit it, nothing very much bothers me anymore about someone’s looks, except for nose rings and tongue studs. Ms. Lacrosse smiled at my greeting, held out her hand, and said “Hi, I’m Tat.”

She had a tongue stud. Yikes. That’s like the daily double for me and my imagination. Naturally, I have to take a deep breath, while blanking my mind to thoughts of having a cold with those items in place. I may have shivered a moment before shaking hands with Tat. “How can I help you, Tat?”

Tat gestures at the Buick. “My headlights go off at night, and I have to switch to high-beams. It’s happened to me three times at night, and now the low-beams are off all the time. I went to the dealer, and they wanted a hundred and twenty-five dollars to check it out.”

Damn it! I’m probably going to ruin this young lady for being a good customer. I’ve mentioned in the past I study potential pattern failures on customers’ vehicles, because then I don’t get caught doing two hours worth of diagnostic work when the vehicle has a weird glitch. It just so happened, I have a number of customers with late model GM products, and I’d run across this problem in my studies. The dealer is quoting her the standard diagnostic fee, because it’s the right thing to do. The customer expects it. The tech who works on the vehicle has some leeway. The vehicle gets fixed. I should be doing it the right way too. If the problem was a check engine light with noticeable running problems, I would.

“I’ve run across this before,” I told Tat. “There’s a relay under the hood called a headlight drive module. Your daytime running lights and low beam operation work through it using the light sensor on top of your dash. When it senses low light the sensor tells your lights to come on. I have one in stock. The OEM one I have runs about fifty dollars plus labor.”

Ms. Lacrosse gets a tight lipped cross look on her features – not a good look for someone with a nose ring. “Why didn’t the guy at the dealer tell me that?”

Because he’s doing business the right way and I’m not. I save that for my own perceptive conclusion. “It’s bad customer relations to act like we have what is referred to as silver bullets, meaning quick pattern fixes for some problems. The customer many times leaves expecting a magical fix every time they come in with a problem. It’s bad business.”

Tat nods slowly, and then smiles. I know what’s coming. “Why are you doing it then?”

Bingo! “I don’t have their overhead to pay for, and you’re a perfect candidate because your problem is no longer intermittent. I have the HDM in stock. Your low-beams are not working at all now, so if I parts change the module and they come on, it means it’s fixed. If you still had the intermittent problem, I would handle the situation differently.”

“That’s nice of you. Can you show me now?”

“Sure.” It only takes a few minutes to replace the HDM, and the lights come on.

Tat claps her hands excitedly. “That’s great!”

I write up her invoice. I notice she’s scoping me out in that funny manner the young often do, either because of my rather stiff mannerisms or something I’ve done they find amusing. When I lead the way into the office to conclude our transaction, Tat hands me her credit card while perusing my picture walls. Then she lets me in on the amusing part.

“You don’t like looking at me.” She’s enjoying her observation, because she’s grinning away when I do look at her without focusing on some point behind her head as I had been doing. “What bothers you, the piercings?”

Yep. “Actually, nothing bothers me about you. It’s just that I have an active imagination, and when I see nose and tongue piercings the first thing that comes to mind is a cold, cough, and sneezing.”

Tat laughs in appreciation of my honest admission. “It’s not like you think.”

Says you. “Probably not, but you asked.”

She nods and signs the credit card statement. When she hands me my clipboard back Tat pats my hand. “I’ll be back. I like you. You’re funny. I see all the pictures on the wall of your family. I bet you’re a riot at gatherings.”

I grin at that observation. “I have my moments.”

“I bet you do. Bye.”

I reached for one of my business cards. “Here’s my card if you need to schedule any work.”

Tat turned and took the card with a thank you, and continued out. I didn’t follow, because my alter ego was already plotting a blog entry, and I needed to jot down some notes immediately.  :)

One other writing item came up. My novel PEACE has hit the good sales point where I drew two ‘Book Killers’ in the same week. Although the one star hit pieces do hurt sales, they also mean that I attracted the ‘killers’ due to some pretty good sales. Such is life in Author-land. The ‘killers’ are kind of funny because as I’ve mentioned before, Amazon gives the reader SEVEN chapters of PEACE free to sample the novel. Believe me, if a reader reads seven chapters of PEACE, they will know whether they are going to like it or not.  :)